I surrender!

I am a new creation. Technically speaking I have been one since I was saved in 5th grade, but I feel as if I am a new new creation... Pastor's sermon from Sunday is still with me--a phenomenon that has not happened for years. I have always listened with my ears, but last week my heart was willing to learn. The phrase "He who has ears, let him hear" suddenly means something to me. The first major truth since our reformation is being revealed to my heart.

Living a holy life is incredibly simple. I suppose that is why Jesus took the liberty to sum up the law and the prophets into two simple statements, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind" and "Love your neighbor as yourself". I feel as if both of those could be rolled into, "Surrender everything to the Lord."

Throughout my life I have heard many illustrations for the spirit-filled surrendered life. I will forever remember the image conjured by a sermon of Tim Johnson's when I was in high school.

I remember imagining myself standing that the edge of a crystal clear river-shallow and gently moving at the edges but increasingly deep and turbulent further in. This river represented the Holy Sirit. I imagined (and sadly still do) myself standing ankle deep. It is a comfortable place to be. I can feel the Holy Spirit calm, soothe and maybe even sway my steps a bit, but I am still very much in control. At times I may have dared to go knee-deep but the moment my foot slips the slightest bit I am quick to move back towards the shore.

Pastor Tim's challenge that morning was to walk out into that river lay your head back and lift your feet off of the bottom. Although it may be terrifying you can trust where the river will take you. Henry Varley once said to D.L. Moody, "The world has yet to see what God will do with a man fully consecrated to him" What a haunting and inspiring idea.

This whole idea is now fresh in my mind. So much of life as a Christian is accomplished by simply letting go. It sounds so simple but is so unbearably terrifying.

Lord, let me let go. I am terrified of where the river may take me but help me to trust you and plunge myself into the full current of the river.

Fat and Happy

I am fat and happy. I almost wish I was fat and therefore miserable, because it would probably be a good motivator. But, happy or not, my average 8 new pounds a year are really starting to add up and are starting to interfere with life. I want to be able to climb the sledding hill without taking two breaks on the way up! Plus, when you go from XL to XXL some places make you pay extra! I will also make a better husband and father if cut a few.

Stephanie, having given birth only two months ago, is also determined to reach her pre-pregnancy weight, and revive the stomach that Thor called home for 9 months.

So, today Stephanie and I have begun weight watchers. It is simple good science. I was excited to discover that I can eat 36 points a day, but with a little math concluded that it only adds up to about 1800 calories. Ouch. I am willing to bet that my daily average is around 4000. So, at only 1800 calories and my body being the oily furnace that is is, I imagine that i will be shedding pounds in no time!

So far I have eaten 19.5 points and am looking forward to a small chicken breast over rice pilaf for dinner. We will be enjoying chocolate almond truffles for dessert. Stephanie has been quite the gourmet chef today. I am also reserving 3 points so I can drink a beer at Earl and Michelle's tonight over a game of Carcassone.

I weighed in today at 263 poundsand if I make it to 220 Stephanie agreed that we can get a Wii. That may be more motivating than being fat and miserable. We took pictures of eachother so we will have good before and after shots. When proves to be a success I will be sure to share them. ;)

I am excited for our adventure and am determined to embrace hunger in order to live longer and better. Even the Bible admits that physical training is of some value. (1 Timothy 4:8) Keep both of us in your prayers and feel free to send encouragement our way!

Starting Over

It is mostly coincidence that I am writing this on the first day of the year. It is 12:40 a.m. and I am at the computer while my wife and child are asleep. Nevertheless, before Stephanie fell asleep I laid in bed and we read just a few verses from Matthew and prayed together for a long while. It was beautiful.

Stephanie and I took an almost three week trip to MN a few weeks ago to be with my family for Christmas. Throughout the trip it became apparent to Stephanie and I that we think of ourselves more highly than we ought. (Romans 12:3) This has led to a new standard of living for both of us. I am sure Stephanie and I would define it in very different ways, but both of us agree that the heart of our problem is spiritual.

Within our circle of friends, Stephanie and I have been Christians for the longest. Stephanie grew up readin the Scofield Study Bible, and I have my BA in Religion. Therefore we answer far more questions than we ask. But, this intellectual prowess along with countless others factors have led more to cynicism than devotion to Christ. Throw me in a Bible quizzing ring, or a theological debate on sanctification and I am confident that I will be able to perform, but ask me what Christ has been doing in my life and I am likely to feed you some canned answer that is long past its expiration date. It is for me just a bit more humbling than it is inpsiring to see Jesus working more in the lives of people whom Christ one day used me to reach than in my own life.

Anyway, miraculously, Jesus has not given up on the Patenaudes, and we are humbly yet boldly turning back to Him, not from outright rebellion, but from total complacency. The letter written to the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2:1-7 cuts like a knife. I am excited to rekindle the relationship Christ and I once had.